Michael Jackson has invaded the Chesapeake Bay area of Maryland, allegedly looking to buy a vacation home. Does he have enough money for that? What about the Vegas gig that was gonna have the gigantic statue of him out front? I would have gone to see that. You know it would have crashed and burned. Normalcy left this dude’s life aeons ago. Just ask his kid in the phantom of the opera mask. Or the one called “Blanket”. That’s gotta be an interesting childhood. Daddy, what’s Jesus Juice? Shut up and drink it.

Doing his best to keep those bankruptcy rumors at bay, a rep for the dethroned King of Pop has confirmed that Jackson is currently house-hunting in the tony Chesapeake Bay region of the state.

Jackson’s long-suffering publicist, Raymone Bain, told the Washington Post that the entertainer, accompanied by his three children, moonwalked over to the eastern shore “for about 24 hours” last week to scout out some vacation homes.

Jackson is also supposedly looking further up the East Coast for property. His rep also went on to deny rumors that Michael is looking for a kidney as well? What? Let me tell you – skin bleaching will mess up your internal organs something fierce. Those kids better hope they’re pale enough or they’re gonna end up in iron lungs.