The Prince Is Fed

September 11th, 2007 // 33 Comments

Here’s what Maddox eats at his new ultra-swank school Lycée Français de New York:

Fresh cod served with steamed broccoli and couscous — the main course at a lavish New York gala? Nope. It’s what Maddox Jolie-Pitt had for lunch yesterday at his private Manhattan school.

Today, according to the school menu, Maddox can expect to dine on vegetable chunks soup, rotisserie chicken, green bean almondine, white rice, and yogurt or fruit.

Damn, what about the square pizza? The grape juice that smelles like beer? The Chinese food once a year? Chocolate milk? The sullen lady that smells like cigarettes passing it out to ya? What’s this mess? I wouldn’t eat that as a kid! Where’s the Kraft macaroni & cheese and hot dogs? Damn, girl – pack a lunch for this brat! He’s gonna have to blend in someday when he’s not with these snots! You know he’s gonna go to college and have Wendy’s for the first time and die from those poisons because you haven’t innoculated him through grease like the rest of these little fat American bastards have already been!

(Flynet)

By J. Harvey

  1. T-Bone

    This is how WE ALL should be eating, actually. Good for Maddox that he’s being introduced to such healthy food at such a young age. I’m sure he gets his share of treats as well. Perhaps his mother should consider eating some of it.

  2. Sarah

    WHY WHY WHY?? DOES SHE HAVE TO CARRY HIM EVERYWHERE??????????!!!!!
    WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY???
    LET
    HIM
    WALK!!

  3. Iwantmesomebrad

    Brad is so hot and always has the best footwear.

  4. green cardigan

    J Harvey – you are so funny. I have tears in my eyes.

    Well, the French know how to dine in style. Good healthy diet for the boy.

  5. Angietothemax

    They’re good everyday a crowd of people surrounding you, cheering, yelling, so they can see you do the simple task of taking your child to school. I admire the patience because if it were me I’d probably be having my kid homeschooled by now.

  6. I am so sick of them carrying those big kids. Put him down.

  7. Eyes of Green

    Angietothemax – I agree. I would be so scared of letting my very small children down in a crowd of people all rushing in to take pictures and yelling at them…I grow weary of people saying “why does she carry them all the time? they never walk anywhere…” I say better safe than sorry, and if one of the kids were trampled, injured or snatched, then there’d be a chorus of “OMG Angie isn’t protecting her children the evil cow”

    And I’m totally jealous of Maddox’s lunch as I sit here with my cup of soup and wheat crackers…lucky guy!

  8. BIJ

    I’m french and it’s typical french food i was eating the same at primary school and it was far from posh school the diference is on the quality of food

  9. green cardigan

    BIJ- Je suis d’accord avec toi. The French eat well everyday, even just a simple lunch is well thought out and healthy. We could all take a leaf out of their book for that.

  10. T-Bone

    I bust my a$$ to eat like this.

    Hey Green – do you speak French?

  11. I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t resist posting… My favorite school lunch was a choice between a weiner or a weiner wink (the wink was cheese, in case you didn’t know). I usually went with the wink…

  12. I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t resist posting… My favorite school lunch was a choice between a weiner or a weiner wink (the wink was cheese, in case you didn’t know). I usually went with the wink…

  13. 2 Old 4 This

    WHAT?? No Peanut butter squares? poor kid

  14. green cardigan

    Oui, T-Bone. Je parle francais. Not perfect, but getting there.

  15. blady02

    Blah Blah Blah! Do we get to learn what color his sh__ was too?

  16. Kenna

    I understand they want to protect their children but, this is the life/world they brought them into. Shouldn’t they be learning how to “stay together” among the crowd and make their way to the vehicle? Are they going to carry them until their body weight matches that of the paps? Mad will be 14, getting piggy backs from his parents because he can’t make it from hotel to car on his own two feet.

  17. blady02

    Audacte! Finally a person with some class and taste for what constitutes a good actor! He blows, right! Johnny Depp is fine!

  18. T-Bone

    I’m impressed. I’ve always wanted to be fluent in another language. It’s a goal of mine, actually. Just finished the master’s, so perhaps that will be my next adventure ;) Spanish is my choice, however, living in the USA. And being Italiano — well — the language is more closely related.
    As my late grandma would say — keep up the good work;)

    Au revior!

  19. green cardigan

    Kenna – well, if the children stick to the brocolli and steamed fish, they’ll be light enough for the piggy backs for a while yet;

    Ha ha! I have this image of Brad, buckling at the knees, carrying an overweight Maddox and his McDonald’s bag…FEED ME!….out to the car….at age 21.

  20. aquaboogie

    LOL! Damn! that was funny! You went off at the end!

  21. Oy! I don’t think the Pitt Stain has changed clothes in three friggin days!!!

    Green Cardigan, is there anything you can’t do? :)

    I myself am looking to master German…BUT i can order a beer in three languages!!!
    Une biere s’il vous plait.
    Ein Bier bitte.
    Una cerveza por favor.

  22. green cardigan

    T-Bone, good choice. Spanish and French are similar, so if you get the hang of Spanish, you’ll find that French isn’t too difficult to pick up afterwards, and vice versa.

  23. green cardigan

    Clarisse – I take my hat off. I have found that when abroad, that is the single most important expression one needs to have, in any language.
    BEER PLEASE! I’m dying of thirst here! Sorry, that last bit, you only say in Ireland.

  24. Holly

    vegetable chunks soup?? that sounds about right…

  25. LMAO

    I grew up in Chicago and ate/experienced all that J Harvey says American kids should experience. I live in England now, though, and that’s what my daughter eats for lunch at school or for dinner at home. We have to go back to America and she is going to start school there soon, she’s going to be traumatised once she sees what they eat.

  26. LindaB

    Just to add to this thread…Una birra per piacere….(asking for a beer in Italian.) PS: you know the other kids are teasing Maddox about his mom carrying him all the time.

  27. Una cerveza fria por favor! (“A cold beer, please” in Spanish) LOL

  28. Green Cardigan,
    If you’re lookin for beer, you couldn’t be in a better place than The Emerald Isle!!!

    LindaB,
    THANKS! Italy, here i come!!

    Lippy,
    COLD beer! Excelente!

  29. Ugh

    If they’d stop alerting the press to every freaking move they make the kids could run around like normal kids. Other celebs have theirs walking. Anything for attention from these two…..anything for attention………

  30. Samantha Jones

    The square pizza! Damn I loved that shit.

  31. esmerelda

    Right now, I think Zahara is the star of the family. She started out slow and appeared to be sad, but now her smile and energy is infectious. Angelina said Zee is smart-ass personality and funny. I’ve noticed that Brad seems to get a kick out of her most of the time. He loves the boys, but he admits to having a special heart for little girls.

  32. WhoCarzzzzzzzzz

    Oy….35,000th picture of the celeboids dropping their kids off at school.

    Wanna make a wager how long Maddox, lasts at this school?

    I say until Brad’s filming is done on his latest picture. Which I will give it another month, and they’ll be jet setting it away to yet another continent. Especially when he learns his newest picture is a bomb at the box office.

  33. cialis

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