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Last night, shiny-faced Tamra‘s new stay-at-home (failure) husband Simon is up in her face, destroying her home with gym equipment while she’s trying to keep boogers out of the kid’s milk. She finally tells her child to “shut up” which is what every good Real Housewive should say to their child’s needs. Tamra takes a friend to a slutty lingerie store to buy some tramp-gear for her and her husband’s 10 year anniversary. Cover your eyes. She also learns about cock rings. Bravo is educational. The girls go to a spa and Tamra’s happy that Gretchen is the “new golddigger.” Uh, isn’t that kind of the group’s mission statement? Tamra says she’s looking forward to getting to know Gretchen better but ends it with “yeah, right.” Hey, at least she’s honest.
New girl Gretchen is buying a hog to ride. Will there be a side-car for her plastic boobies? She wants a pink bike at first but the salesperson ruins her life by denying her that ridiculous whim. Poor Kenny Rogers with leukemia just stands by as her crazy ass runs around the bikeshop. She’s no cure for cancer. During the spa trip, Gretchen realizes what an unfeeling, ET-faced bitch Vicki is when she taps away on her laptop during Gretchen’s story about her husband’s leukemia. And actively trying to get the other’s attention during a story about cancer of the blood. During brunch, Tamra asks her if she left her first husband because he was poor. Whoa. Gretchen wants four kids. Uh…has anyone asked Kenny?
Vicki continued her whirligig-eyed quest to make sure everyone knows bitch has money by planning a luxury vacation to Mexico. Vicki goes to dinner with her hated husband. He should just poison her wine. She informs him that she won’t see him at all this summer. Donn informs her that he can go to Mexico if he wanted to. She should just say “I’m getting half, and leave.” Donn doesn’t understand that reality shows will kill your marriage. Ask Nick Lachey. Vicki freaks her shit about not understanding fishing at the spa brunch, and Tamra notes that Vicki has “a lot of balls in her hole.” Well, at least she used to before whatever chemical truck fire happened to her face. She tells Gretchen to shut up during brunch. Her son tells her that he doesn’t want to go to Mexico and she is not thrilled. She gets manipulative and then shrill. She turns to her dog for comfort. She then makes sure Michael’s manpris get on that flight to Mexico.
Click the continue reading link to read the rest of the Real Housewives of Orange County recap.
Last night, shiny-faced Tamra‘s new stay-at-home (failure)
husband Simon is up in her face, destroying her home with gym equipment
while she’s trying to keep boogers out of the kid’s milk. She finally
tells her child to “shut up” which is what every good Real Housewive
should say to their child’s needs. Tamra takes a friend to a slutty
lingerie store to buy some tramp-gear for her and her husband’s 10 year
anniversary. Cover your eyes. She also learns about cock rings. Bravo
is educational. The girls go to a spa and Tamra’s happy that Gretchen
is the “new golddigger.” Uh, isn’t that kind of the group’s mission
statement? Tamra says she’s looking forward to getting to know Gretchen
better but ends it with “yeah, right.” Hey, at least she’s honest.
New girl Gretchen is buying a hog to ride. Will there be a
side-car for her plastic boobies? She wants a pink bike at first but
the salesperson ruins her life by denying her that ridiculous whim.
Poor Kenny Rogers with leukemia just stands by as her crazy ass runs
around the bikeshop. She’s no cure for cancer. During the spa trip,
Gretchen realizes what an unfeeling, ET-faced bitch Vicki is when she
taps away on her laptop during Gretchen’s story about her husband’s
leukemia. And actively trying to get the other’s attention during a
story about cancer of the blood. During brunch, Tamra asks her if she
left her first husband because he was poor. Whoa. Gretchen wants four
kids. Uh…has anyone asked Kenny?
Vicki continued her whirligig-eyed quest to make sure everyone
knows bitch has money by planning a luxury vacation to Mexico. Vicki
goes to dinner with her hated husband. He should just poison her wine.
She informs him that she won’t see him at all this summer. Donn informs
her that he can go to Mexico if he wanted to. She should just say “I’m
getting half, and leave.” Donn doesn’t understand that reality shows
will kill your marriage. Ask Nick Lachey. Vicki freaks her shit about
not understanding fishing at the spa brunch, and Tamra notes that Vicki
has “a lot of balls in her hole.” Well, at least she used to before
whatever chemical truck fire happened to her face. She tells Gretchen
to shut up during brunch. Her son tells her that he doesn’t want to go
to Mexico and she is not thrilled. She gets manipulative and then
shrill. She turns to her dog for comfort. She then makes sure Michael’s
manpris get on that flight to Mexico.
Jeana comes over to Vicki’s house to get drunk in the grotto and
talk about how she was in Playboy. They’re also discussing going to
Greece without Vicki’s husband, Donn. Vicki’s marriage is literally
disintegrating before our eyes as she admits that she can’t even stand
to hear her husband breathe. Jeana’s real estate career is going
alright although she admits she’s sold one house 4 times which is
totally Amityville Horror time and get a priest in that joint, ok?
She’s helping some poor couple sell their house before it gets
foreclosed upon. Don’t worry, she’s fine. Really. There’s some tension
between Jeana and Vicki involving some tenant Jeana place in Vicki’s
second home that isn’t paying. Jeana looks like she could take Vicki,
so Vicki actually remains silent.
Lauri, who’s addiction to plastic surgery is clear, is dealing
with her new home in San Juan Capistrano and horse-washing and not
seeing any of the other ladies. One of those horses is going to bite
her and not be able to break through the skin of her face. Her daughter
Ashley looks like Lauri before the scalpel frenzy, and owns a skincare
line. We follow Ashley and her investors to investigate how her
ointments are made and these SoCal 20-somethings put their stylist
fedoras OVER their hairnets. Which is probably why her mom doesn’t
think she has Clue #1. She interrogates her daughter about her skincare
line, but admits she won’t be buying any because she has a Botox
addiction. You don’t say.
glf | December 3, 2008 at 6:25 pm
It was actually Lauri, and not Tamra, who was happy that Gretchen was the new golddigger
Karin Wilk | December 4, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Vicki is the most narcissistic and unlikable Housewife in any county/city. She requires so much attention and manipulates her kids- even they don’t want an all expense paid vacation if it means spending time with her. She is really brutal and Donn should get a Noble Prize for patience. Thankfully the kids seem totally reasonable and try to ignore her. She is just a mean unhappy person.
Sharon | December 9, 2008 at 6:43 pm
So Vicki would rather clack away at her laptop than “chit-chat about death.” Good grief. I actually turned on this show for distractive relief as I battle lymphoma 3 months after the death of my 23 year old son. I bet if Vicki had experienced death or illness, we would sure as hell hear about it. Good bye, Bravo!
Dee | December 22, 2008 at 3:21 am
Vicky is the most insecure person. She acts like a bitch, then tries to be the victim, and then tries to justify her rude and uncalled for behavior. Its like watching a bratty five year old who isn’t getting her way. Not my fave person. I hear Jeana is going to turn on her and I’m not surprised. She’s been looking fed up with Vicky lately and isn’t it great when she confronts Vicky with the truth.
Holly | December 31, 2008 at 12:19 am
I really don’t know how much more of Vicki and Tamra I can take. Their behavior is abolutely reprehensible. Tamra is so shamelessly two-faced, it’s disgusting. In the last episode (at Lake Havasu) she completely threw Jeana under the bus, and tonight she was a complete bitch to Gretchen (again) after acting like she was her friend when she was alone. Vicki is just a horrible, horrible person. She is a narcissist who treats her husband and her friends like trash. Who do these two women think they are? They are so pathetic and transparent They are so clearly threatened by women who are better-looking than them (Gretchen and Lynn) or who have more substance and class (Jeana). They should really be disgusted with and ashamed of themselves. They are bitter, sad, TRULY desperate who spread their unhappiness and toxic venom everywhere they go. Enough.
Diana | January 1, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Vicki looks like she’s trying to be the cool bitchy girl from high school. Her insecurity shines so brightly that it blinds herself from her own selfishness, immaturity, and bitchiness. I’ve never seen a woman that age be so clueless. Vicki and Tamra enjoy making Gretchen feel bad so that they dont have to feel bad about themselves. Tamra is just thankful she’s not the butt of all the criticisms this season. How can they be so UN-compassionate to Gretchen’s situation. She’s giving him IV’s and they’re worried about being late for their botox injection.
Stop hating on the younger, prettier housewives!
lavidjio | January 27, 2009 at 5:32 pm
lavidjio
jehn | February 21, 2009 at 10:17 pm
vicki is a straight up bitch. every time i watch the show i want to slap her. her husband loves her and she does not even care. maybe if she found love and a connection with her husband — then she would be more willing to let her children go and do what they need to do to live their lives.
oh man i can’t stand this show anymore.
and it is because of vicki.
David | March 10, 2011 at 9:25 pm
Vicky looks like a rhino, linebacker and just plain FAT….. Plus, she has a horrible personality….
David | March 10, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Vicky and Tamara are just two overly processed, I gues I’ll say females. Both of their husbands seemed to be great, good looking handsome guys. Both Vicky and especially Tamara will end up alone. They are already old…..