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I’m stunned. Everything out of this girls mouth is a lie. When she breathes I even half-suspect it’s a corpse trying to fake me out.

If you asked her about the new blonde hair she sported today, she would probably look at you all confused and say “I’ve always had this hair color, my father must have gotten to every photo and video of me out there and colored it dark. He’s such an asshole.”

When Lindsay Lohan protested to wearing a court ordered SCRAM bracelet because it could get in the way of filming a movie in Texas, I was thinking more about how she would get caught in the lie than it possibly being true (You say Texas is where now?)  Well there is a movie (Sorry, Texas). It’s called The Dry Gulch Kid and it’s being produced by Willie Nelson who will also star in the movie with Johnny Knoxville.

BUT

A) She’s is still in negotiations, the part isn’t hers yet and B) she plays Lieutenant which doesn’t sound like a character that even needs a full screen shot. Even if she does, it’s called pants.

“The ankle bracelet means nothing to us,” says one of the production partners on the movie. “We can take care of that.”

Except the judge also told her she can’t leave LA during her probation, so I’m still crossing my fingers there will be at least some real consequence for her blatantly skipping her court date. She clearly has someone on staff who already knows how to deactivate a SCRAM bracelet.