Tom Cruise Is A Nazi

August 31st, 2007 // 10 Comments

(WENN)

And you thought there couldn’t be anything worse than a being a closet case cult member who worships volcanoes and aliens. Tom spoke about his new film. He’s playing Colonel Claus Graf Schenk von Stauffenberg, who was a German colonel who tried to off Hitler and is a national hero in Germany. Germany wasn’t pleased with this. If you’ll recall, they initially didn’t want his ass in their county because he’s in a dangerous mind-controlling cult. And then when they were allowed to film, 11 workers were injured in a set accident. Xenu isn’t his co-pilot on this one.

“All I can say is, ‘Save your comments until you see the movie,’ ” Cruise, 49, tells the German weekly, Bunte, regarding the German politicians and media who have attacked his religious beliefs and his decision to play one of Germany’s greatest heroes in his new movie Valkyrie.

“I want to think positive and concentrate on the film,” the actor says in the magazine. “I carry a great responsibility to the Germans, for whom a man like [Colonel Claus Graf Schenk von] Stauffenberg means so much.”

Well, they’ve had enough to deal with concerning their own national history and stuff without your gay ass bringing flying saucers and mind control and espionage tactics into their fair land. They’d like to keep it simple, thanks. Take your damn personality reader out of here!

By J. Harvey

  1. scarlett

    That is a great publicity shot of Tom for his upcoming movie. I, for one, will be watching it.
    This is a great story in history — someone actually saw Hitler for what he was, a Nazi, and tried to assassinate him. This is a true story, folks. I think Tom will be able to pull this off.

  2. Logan

    ha ha ha – lol! i cant stop laughing! tom, the welsh, scottish, irish mutt! ha ha ha! yeah, we’ll be watching this movie – not! ha ha ha – what an ugly cuss – fat head, fat nose, midget, ha ha ha! i have never laughed so hard!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Eyes of Green

    Are you being glib J? Are you? Don’t be glib about Tom, J…. ha ha

    I won’t see this movie, and it has nothing to do with the Hitler aspect of it. I cannot stand TC. Never really have, but he’s totally gone over the edge for my taste. I look at him and see a raving lunatic leprechaun in high heeled boots.

  4. Anon

    Someone is jealous of TC :P I’ve always admired his some of his movies in the past like Top Gun, Minority Report and a few others but not that many. Though everyone should have the right to believe what they want aslong as they aren’t trying to mind control others into it is fine with me. I haven’t seen TC doing any recruiting for scientology or whatnot but I could be wrong since I’m no uber fan nor a papparazi. I wouldn’t mind seeing this movie in either case for the sake of seeing movies period.

  5. shadygoddess

    WA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! AHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    Ohh that’s funny.

    Just look at him. “I am Mr. Important Nazi. This is my I-Am-an-important-Nazi face! I am so cool. I am teh bestest actor!!”

  6. Cara

    Did anyone catch the age? 49??? Could he have been lying all these years? roflmao

  7. Not a fan

    No, I have no plans to see his movie.

  8. Wendy

    His expression looks as though he’s trying to convince himself (AND US!) that he, is indeed, a serious actor :-) What a freak!

  9. Lars

    Although I understand you dissing Tom Cruise, any sensible person would, I find your handling of the subject insensitive to the German people who actually live with this prejudice against them for the sins of some of their ancestors. Yes, there are Germans who read this blog, that’s how I found about this entry.

    Me, I don’t plan on seeing the Movie, much as I would like to see the subject handled, I just can’t bear the thought of T.C.

  10. Andre

    what the fuck is this anyway? a blog for morons? leave the guy alone and find something better to do. it

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