Tom Cruise’s Dastardly Plan Will Work!

October 7th, 2005 // 33 Comments
By admin

  1. Dan

    I heard it’s not his. Didn’t Nicole Kidman say he had a problem climaxing?

  2. T.J.

    That would explain SO much.

  3. dottcomm1

    it’s probably a publicity stunt and she’ll end up having a miscarriage for news purposes. either that, or she was artifically inseminated by an alien (unless they only do anal probes).

  4. nicole

    Betcha any money Katie was impregnated w/Elron’s sperm. This is probably Tom’s “mission” in life as dictated by Scientology.

    Let’s see, if they base their “church” on a SciFi writer (joke!!), I may start a church/cult based on the writings of Dr. Seuss. At least he was a Dr!

  5. Blazer Mary

    Tom and Katie going into the Michael Jackson Unfathomable Paternity wing of Cedars Sinai Hospital.

  6. I am still so baffled by all of this. I also heard in was Tom’s fault they couldn’t have kiddos. Hmmm…

  7. tomkat is in need for meds..

    he seems really angry in these pics… a controlling mean look… how could that girl get so sucked into this? its such a pity… check out Fox411′s story today about all this… its interesting..

  8. katie

    What the hell is going on with these two? I’m just not buying it and here they come up with this whole baby thing! If this is all for publicity (as I believe it is) can you imagine how lame celebrities are to waste their entire lives just to impress us? Spending your life to entertain others is ridiculous. I don’t care how much money they have, they are imprisoned — there’s no freedom when you do everything for complete strangers.

  9. gigi

    Supposedly Kelly Preston is urging Katie to have a “Silent Birth”. No drugs, music, sounds of pain, only lovely silence for the baby to come into and adjust to his surroundings with out causing harmful side effects later in life (like maybe schizophrenia, that will be cured with vitamens and exercise?). Another one of those crazy scientology things.
    COME ON PEOPLE, almost any of us who have given birth know this is insane! My son’s birth was full of joy and smiles when he arrived, but only because I had that lovely epidural in my spine!

  10. Finn

    It *might* be his, but they were probably nowhere near each other at the moment of conception.

  11. Cynthia

    These two make me sick–him for being the crazy nut that he is, and her for being so damn stupid! Don’t you just know her devout Catholic parents are just loving this? EEEEWWW!

  12. uptown slacker

    What happened to her statements a month or so ago where she said that she was a virgin and waiting for marriage? Did I miss something?

  13. bratbastid

    If I got paid what she’s getting paid to be his puppet, I’d be by his side as well. Only my performance would win an academy award…

  14. Icequeen

    Finn: Why do you think he chose a Catholic virgin girl?

    It’s so Mary / God all over again.

  15. Michelle

    Judging by the size of the pooch of her belly, I’d say she’s about 4 months pregnant. If that is the case, they probably knew she was pregnant when they did the Oprah couch-jumping bit.

  16. Tajue

    Mimi Rogers, Tom’s first wife, went public explaining what precipitated their divorce. Mimi said that after introducing Tom to Scientology, their sex life became literally non existent. Tom was of the belief that his body was a shrine to Scientology, and he would not taint it with ‘pleasures of the flesh’.

  17. ThrillKill

    Li’l Tommie has major control issues… how many pictures of them have you seen with him having an hand on her neck? or firmly placed on her stomach/hips? It was similar with Nicole, but it’s more pronounced now. Maybe he’s close to a complete meltdown. If only he would see a psychiatrist. Oh the cruel irony.

  18. Brian

    To “uptown slacker” regarding Katy being a virgin.I think it’s safe to assume she is STILL a virgin…….

  19. Cheesy

    You know, not many people are buying this “oh, we’re so in love and now we’ve got a bun in the oven” crap. It’s so, well, made for Hollywood!

    Someone has been seeing their career slip, and needs some publicity. What I can’t get is, How does someone else get roped into this, AND have the audacity of bringing a child into this insane world? She MUST be brainwashed, by Tom, Scientology, her “best friend” the Scientology programmer, and now she’s on the Cruise-family publicist’s client roster.

  20. looloo

    I used to have such respect for Katie Holmes. She appeared intelligent, independent, and stable. Now that she is with Mr. Scientology all of these characteristics about her have gone out the window….it would suck to be her parents seeing her change so drastically in less than a year…she was enagged to Chris Klein for YEARS….why the sudden rush now??

  21. emma peel

    i used to like Katie as well.But eversince this whole Tomkat episode, i’m beginning to think she is a very ambitious ,stab you in the back while wishing you well kinda of a bitch.Otherwise,no sane person would willing to go through this madness.She is in it for the money and fame and her career-better moive deals and an Oscar?-in her dreams, she’s no Nicole.Katie is a phony,just like Tom.

  22. Brad Pitt's "charity" work is lies

    Some people have suggested that Jen should have fought harder to save her marriage. How dumb. How can you “fight” for a marriage if the other person just wants out so they can go and screw a nice piece of ass?

    I think Brad was terrified about what a split would do to his public image. That explains why initially, he was so greasy to Jen and he still went through with a party for her and they attended that big Hollywood event together. Even I never thought he’d get out of that marriage without paying a heavy price in terms of his public image. But even I didn’t imagine, in all my wildest dreams, that Brad would dream up all that African bullsh*t to try and get himself some good PR. You’ve got to hand it to him. I thought his mind was numb after all those years of smoking dope but when he started parading in front of the cameras holding up those starving African kids for a bit of good PR he showed himself to be shrewder than a lot of people thought. Then after lying bare-faced to the American public that he WASN’T seeing Whorelina he got busted with her in Africa. And still, thanks to Angelina paying off someone at People magazine, there is still a magazine in the US still prepared to say nice things about this pair of cheaters. Amazing. But then. This is the country that elected Bush for a second term? What do you expect?

    BRAD PITT IS GETTING AWAY WITH MURDER. HE:

    1) Dumped his wife like trash to go and screw his last co-star
    2) Lied to the American public that he wasn’t seeing said co-star then got caught with her in Africa
    3) Openly dates said co-star while still married
    4) Callously goes with said co-star to ADOPT ANOTHER KID within a few months of leaving his WIFE
    5) Openly starts living with said co-star while still married
    6) Has a “sudden conversion” to African charity work at the age of 41 for PR reasons and the media are such star-f*ckers they actually don’t call him on an obvious PR stunt

    SHOCK HORROR. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT AN A LIST MOVIE STAR COULD GET AWAY WITH THIS BEHAVIOUR. YET HE HAS.

  23. Yolanda

    Go to http://www.joliehomewrecker.com – Great music video on how Angelina Jolie breaks up marriages.

  24. eww

    first off tom cruise is a sicko. hes old and ugly too! i think they are just faking it for the media which is just totaaly lame

  25. GSPFL

    In one of these messages, “Katie said…there’s no freedom when you do everything for complete strangers.” Yes, and it makes sense to get pregnant for others, since the very essence of being a star – to live for others – nets one big cash. This cash is also ‘money from others.’ Thus, having a baby to impress others is just a logical extension of living the star-life for others. There is no sense of self because the entire star persona exists for others. Look at the stars who are mildly (or more rehabilitated); notice how they drop out of the star scene to get their lives back. Save the absurdity of chosing the name “Apple” as a viable name, GP has moved into a quieter and more honest life for herself. You cannot have it both ways – that is living the high, big, public life that begs public scrutiny, and keep something authentic for yourself. This is why the Tomkat agenda is suspect. The ovum may be biologically ‘real,’ but its inception and purpose is pure ersatz. Poor kid.

  26. tomcruiseweird

    See how they are not laughing or holding hands, being lovey dovey when they dont know ppl are taking pics of them?

    I hate them. Joan Rivers is right about Katie Holmes.

  27. fitz

    Umm, #22, I don’t think we’re in Brangelina anymore, this is Tomkat territory now. But I’d like to know, when did we elect Brad Pitt for president? The way you just harped on about the guy (“lied to the American public!”)–whoa, sure sounds like he ought to be impeached from public office. BWAHAHAHAHA!

  28. fitz

    Um, #22: Toto, I don’t think we’re in Brangelina anymore. This is Tomkat territory now. But I’m curious, when did we elect Brad Pitt for president? The way you just harped on about the guy (“lied to the American public!”)–the SHOCK, the HORROR. We need to impeach him from office, and fast. MWAHAHAHA!

  29. marmar

    There’s some pic’s of Tomkat on Saving Face at a soccer game and holy shit, she is at least 5-6 months along. Very curious.

  30. nunya

    marmar, what is saving face? I’d like to see those pictures.

  31. they make me sick

    I hate NO respect for Katie Holmes. For a few bucks she is selling her soul. She thought Tom could boost her career as a trade off, but I dont think that’s helping either since she is completely talentless, and just plain old boring. She looks forever 15 yrs old, no style, no charisma, and sometimes she even looks retarded like she has down syndrome or something. Breaking up with Chris Klein was the biggest mistake she has ever made!!! At least they looked good together.

  32. Laura

    Re:They Make Me Sick

    I have to agree with you there…sexy Katie is not, and there are times when she looks a little…down syndromeish? lololol

  33. Laura

    By the way…what did Joan Rivers say about Katie?

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