Page Six is reporting today that Paula’s “broken nose” wasn’t broken and that there wasn’t any tripping over any damn dog. How dare she blame the canine? It can’t even defend itself by saying “my owner is a crazy pillhead, help me”. The dog should rebel and attack her.

But a source tells us it’s a coverup. “Paula did not break her nose. She had pitched a fit, threw something into a mirror or glass object, and a shard of glass struck her in the face, which explains why Paula’s nose didn’t seem swollen,” said our spy. A rep for Abdul termed the account “absolutely, categorically untrue.”

I don’t know – that sounds equally weird. Maybe nothing happened and she just wants some attention. All I know is – I want that prescription pad she had to have stolen from her doctor’s office years ago. Surrender it, Paula! You’re shut off!