The first go-round of Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Miami – for lack of a better word – sucked. Miraculously, Andy Cohen plucked the dead weight (Larsa Pippen and Christy Rice) from the cast and put in a few crazier, more savory characters in their place.
Lea Black is my girl. That woman could care less if you insulted her, so long as you didn’t ruin her Blacks’ Annual Gala. She’s human teflon, well looked after thanks to her lawyer hubby’s salary, and counts drag queen Elaine Lancester as her personal bodyguard.
Whatever anyone says to Black or about her bounces right off. She’s part of the 1% and is simply disgusted with the result of the people vs John Goodman. He’s a target because he’s wealthy and loves polo! So there. Oh, and she’s mad tight with Joe Francis. Gross.
Dr. Karent Sierra is starting to live up to her reputation of resident bomb tosser after Lisa’s Lingerie For Breast Cancer Awareness shindig (I made that title up). According to Sierra’s Bravo bio, she’s a hand model.
Ana Quincoces is cool because she is a lawyer and has better things to do than punch people.
Speaking of A. De Moura, she is fast becoming my favorite (tied with Alexia Echevarria, who I’ll get to in a second). I wasn’t at all surprised to see her go code red on Krupa at Lisa Hochstein’s lingerie booby party. De Moura’s Brazilian. Ergo, we expect her to act so fiery. We’d call a punch in the face “fiery,” right?
Echevarria voluntarily stepped away from being a full-time cast member because her son was in a serious car accident. There are a few scenes where Echevarria lets her guard down and weeps, which make me want to hug her and tell her how brave she is.
Then there’s Lisa Hochstein, who so badly wants to become (Lea) Black. If you thought you witnessed Barbie-come-to-life, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Hochstein is married to a Miami plastic surgeon famous for his breast implants. She’s 29. He’s much older. She drinks Red Bull and vodkas by the pool. That’s about it.