Jennifer Lopez opened up about the tough lessons she learned after her recent split from Ben Affleck, giving fans a raw and honest look into her personal life.
In a heart-to-heart with Nikki Glaser for Interview magazine, J.Lo hinted at her ongoing divorce from Affleck. The couple tied the knot in July 2022, almost two decades after they called off their first engagement in 2004. Lopez filed for divorce on August 20, 2024, stating April 26, 2024 as their separation date.
“With This Is Me…Now and the project that you mentioned earlier, I felt like, whoa, I got here. I’m good,” Lopez shared, talking about her ninth album and its companion movie musical from 2023. “I did all the work and look at where I am, and then it was like my whole fucking world exploded.”
She told Glaser that growing as a person is “a lifelong process.”
“There’s times when I thought I figured it out, and then life goes, ‘Let’s send you another thing and see if you fall for it. Let’s see if you really have learned that lesson.’ And I hadn’t,” Lopez admitted. “I understand that now in a much deeper way, which doesn’t mean that I won’t make mistakes in the future, but again, when your whole house blows up, you’re standing there in the rubble going, ‘How do I not ever let that happen again?’ And then you start examining it little by little saying, ‘Okay, I did this, this was my part in it, this was what I should have seen early on, this is what I didn’t look at.’ Those things are what really are the lessons.”
She went on, “When you get to a point where you think that you’ve learned the lessons, and then it blows up in your face again, you realize, ‘Okay, I haven’t, so what is it that I need to look at right now?’ I would say, never stop looking inward, because it’s so easy to blame everybody else.”
Referring to her summer, which she mostly spent apart from Affleck, Lopez shared, “You have to be complete, if you want something that’s more complete. You have to be good on your own. I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, ‘I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.’ “
Lopez’s honest words show she’s not afraid to face her struggles head-on, giving fans a glimpse into her journey of self-discovery and growth.
Lopez reflected on her journey as a newly single woman, sharing how her perspective has shifted. “It feels lonely, unfamiliar, scary. It feels sad. It feels desperate. But when you sit in those feelings and go, ‘These things are not going to kill me,’ it’s like actually, I am capable of joy and happiness all by myself,” she told Glaser. “Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself. I used to say I’m a happy person, but was still looking for something for somebody else to fill, and it’s just like, ‘No, I’m actually good.'”
She continued, “Somebody who truly loves you will help you heal those parts of yourself. That’s what I’ve learned about love, that it is a secure thing. You make me feel safe, and when I fall short of the glory, you understand me and you help me to grow to be better, because you have your boundaries and I have my boundaries. And I go, ‘Here’s where you’re falling short for me and here’s where I’m falling short for you.’ And so, we get better at those things together.”
When asked about raising her standards for future relationships, Lopez surprised Glaser by saying, “There’s no new bar because I’m not looking for anybody. How’s that?” She added, “For people who are romantics and love being in relationships and want to grow old with somebody, we think, ‘I have to have that to be whole and happy.’ And you don’t.”
Despite the challenges, Lopez holds no grudges about her experience with Affleck. She shared, “That doesn’t mean it didn’t almost take me out for good. It almost did. But now, on the other side of it, I think to myself, ‘Fuck, that is exactly what I needed. Thank you, god. I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m sorry that you had to do this to me so many times. I should have learned it two or three times ago. I get it. You had to hit me really hard over the head with a fucking sledgehammer. You dropped the house on me. Don’t have to do it again,'” she explained. “I finally got it! And by the way, that doesn’t mean I have everything figured out. Now I’m excited, when you say you’re just going to be on your own. Yes, I’m not looking for anybody, because everything that I’ve done over the past 25, 30 years, being in these different challenging situations, what can I fucking do when it’s just me flying on my own.”
Lopez’s candid words show her growth and self-awareness. She’s embracing her independence and finding strength in being alone, proving that happiness comes from within, not from others.
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