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No, that’s not a euphemism. This story is rather vague, but if we don’t report it and everyone else does – then we look like jackasses when he spirits her away on his sensitive ponytail steed after the wedding and gallops off into the…moors? Moors or maybe the highlands? Something in the U.K. you could gallop a steed over.
Someone took some pics of Jennifer Aniston on vacation and apparently wisp of a girl Orlando Bloom is hovering in the background. Maybe he came over to say “hey” and lay out. Maybe he wanted to talk about cami tops and bikini waxes. Maybe he tapped that ass so hard that she went through the headboard. Who knows, but that third thing doesn’t sound likely.
Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom were spotted together in Mexico over the weekend. I think. Jennifer is again sporting a bikini and though the photos are from what appears to be a very long lens, these bikini photos may spark as much conversation as the last ones that showed off Jen’s still toned 38-year old body.
Maybe he was teaching her some elven magic about how to wish a Hobbit curse on a certain St. John’s spokeslady who’s currently doing her head in. They’re probably just watching America’s Next Top Model and talking about their first kisses. And cheering Heather on! Yay, Heather!
This article was originally published on October 1, 2017.