During an appearance on the Man Enough podcast, Mendes recalled, “I raised my voice at her and she was like, ‘I don’t like it when you raise your voice. Why did you raise your voice?’ And I got so defensive.”
Shawn went on, “I was like, ‘I wasn’t raising my voice at you!’ And I did raise my voice at her. And I felt her shrink and I felt me grow and I was like, ‘Oh god, this is the worst.’ I’m so terrified of being evil. I’m so scared to be bad. I don’t want to be bad.”
The couple then “had to get in this massive conversation” about this deep-rooted fear, because he didn’t want to be perceived negatively.
“Maybe there even is bad inside of me, and I have to just accept that,” he admitted on the podcast. “And that other part of me, he’s just got to be here and we’ve just got to work together until eventually he gets worked in all of the trauma and all of the kinks get rubbed out of him and he’s OK. But I can’t avoid the fact that there’s a little bit of darkness inside of me and letting that darkness kind of be present is a horrible feeling.”
After he opened up to Camila, she comforted him. This taught Shawn yet another lesson, as he realized that when you’re “being vulnerable” after a fight, you’re really “just defending yourself even better.”
“I made it about my evil and my fear, and she comforted me,” he reflected. “And then it took me like 20 minutes of us separately reading our books to be able to come back to her and be like, ‘God, that was a whole thing and I’m really sorry.'”
When asked what Cabello would define as his greatest strength, Mendes said it was his ability, to be honest. “My greatest strength, I think she would say is my truth, my ability to be honest, tell the truth,” he said. “I think she would say my weakness is my commitment to being a good guy.”