Kim Kardashian West joked about her sex tape, meeting O.J. Simpson, and divorcing Kanye West during her Saturday Night Live monologue (watch below).
“I know, I’m surprised to see me HERE too,” she began her monologue.
“When they asked, I was like, ‘You want me to host? Why? I haven’t had a movie premiere in a really long time,’” she continued, referring to her infamous sex tape. “Actually, I only had that one movie come out and no one told me it was even premiering. It must have slipped my mom’s mind.”
She has some fun at her sisters’ expanse as well. “I’m excited to be here tonight to show you guys that I’m so much more than just a pretty face… and good hair and great makeup and amazing boobs and a perfect butt. Basically, I’m just so much more than that reference photo my sisters show their plastic surgeons.”
During her opening remarks, she also poked fun of her sisters and her mom’s boyfriend Corey Gamble. “I’m excited to be here tonight to show you guys that I’m so much more than just a pretty face… and good hair and great makeup and amazing boobs and a perfect butt. Basically, I’m just so much more than that reference photo my sisters show their plastic surgeons.”
“But the one thing I’m really proud of is that no one could ever call me a gold digger. Honestly, I’m not sure how you even become one. So I asked my mom’s boyfriend Corey.”
And somehow, OJ Simpson made the cut as well. “You know my father was and still is such an influence and inspiration to me and I credit him with really opening up my eyes to racial injustice. It’s because of him that I met my first Black person. Want to take a stab in the dark at who it was? I know it’s sort of weird to remember the first Black person you met, but O.J. does leave a mark. Or several. Or none at all, I still don’t know!”
Caitlyn Jenner didn’t escape a mention, as Kim said, “I’m an influencer so I understand that the things that I say carry weight, but you know I would never tell anyone what they can or can’t do. Remember, I’m a Kim, not a Karen. And honestly, with all of the ‘K’ names it’s really impressive that my mom didn’t pick Karen. I mean somehow she just knew. I don’t know how she saw that one coming and not Caitlyn.”
She reassured us that she will not be running for political office. “Now I know we’re divided as a country but I would love America to come together, which is why I’m here to announce that I’m running for… I’m just kidding guys. I’m not running for president, we can’t have three failed politicians in one family.”
And last but not least, Kanye West. “I’ve been very blessed in this life and I’m grateful for everything. Honestly, all the ups, all the downs. I mean I married the best rapper of all time. Not only that, he’s the richest Black man in America. A talented, legit genius who gave me four incredible kids. So when I divorced him, you have to know it came down to just one thing: his personality.”
Watch Kim Kardashian’s SNL monologue
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