Lady Gaga Opens Up About Her Mental Health Struggles: ‘I Was a Cutter for a Long Time’

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Lady Gaga for Elle Magazine
Photo by Sร˜LVE SUNDSBร˜ / Elle

Popstar Lady Gaga has been outspoken about her mental health issues from surviving sexual assault and her chronic illnesses in the last few years.

Now sheโ€™s truly baring her soul and opening up about her history with self-harm.

Lady Gaga spoke to Oprah Winfrey in an interview for Elle magazine about how she recovered from self-harm and what she would tell others going through a similar situation.

โ€œIโ€™ve actually not opened up very much about this, but I think itโ€™s an important thing for people to know and hear: I was a cutter for a long time, and the only way that I was able to stop cutting and self-harming myself was to realize that what I was doing was trying to show people that I was in pain instead of telling them and asking for help,โ€ she said.

Lady Gaga for Elle Magazine
Photo by Sร˜LVE SUNDSBร˜ / Elle

She also detailed how she was able to work through that time with the help of others.

โ€œWhen I realized that telling someone, โ€˜Hey, I am having an urge to hurt myself,โ€™ that defused it,โ€ she said. โ€œI then had someone next to me saying, โ€˜You donโ€™t have to show me. Just tell me: What are you feeling right now?โ€™ And then I could just tell my story.

โ€œI say that with a lot of humility and strength; Iโ€™m very grateful that I donโ€™t do it anymore, and I wish to not glamorize it.โ€

Gaga also talked about how the parallels between her real life and Allyโ€™s made it difficult for her to shake the role for a โ€œlong time.โ€

Lady Gaga for Elle Magazine
Photo by Sร˜LVE SUNDSBร˜ / Elle

โ€œI had to relive a lot of my career doing that role,โ€ Gaga said. โ€œI donโ€™t know how you feel when youโ€™ve acted, but for me, I donโ€™t view it as filming a movie. I film it as living the character, and itโ€™s a moment in my life, so I relived it all again, and it took a long time for it to go away.โ€

That said, Gaga also revealed that her career wasnโ€™t the only thing she had to relive and reckon with when it came to A Star Is Born. While recounting the moment โ€œShallowโ€ won the Oscar for Best Original Song, Gaga shared that when a reporter asked her, โ€œโ€˜When you look at that Oscar, what do you see?,'โ€ she couldnโ€™t help but say, โ€œโ€˜I see a lot of pain.'โ€

โ€œI wasnโ€™t lying in that moment,โ€ Gaga explained. โ€œI was raped when I was 19 years old, repeatedly. I have been traumatized in a variety of ways by my career over the years from many different things, but I survived, and Iโ€™ve kept going. And when I looked at that Oscar, I saw pain. I donโ€™t know that anyone understood it when I said it in the room, but I understood it.โ€

In response, Oprah pointed toward how sexual assault would cause โ€œPTSD for yearsโ€ โ€” a sentiment Gaga agreed with by opening up about her PTSD and experience with chronic pain.

Lady Gaga for Elle Magazine
Photo by Sร˜LVE SUNDSBร˜ / Elle

โ€œNeuropathic pain trauma response is a weekly part of my life,โ€ she said, later talking about dealing with fibromyalgia, a musculoskeletal disorder. โ€œIโ€™m on medication; I have several doctors. This is how I survive. But you know what, Oprah? I kept going.โ€

Gaga also revealed that thereโ€™s a link between her trauma and fibromyalgia, and that the combination of the two eventually led to โ€œa psychotic break at one point.โ€

โ€œIt was one of the worst things thatโ€™s ever happened to me. I was brought to the ER to urgent care and they brought in the doctor, a psychiatrist. So Iโ€™m just screaming, and I said, โ€œCould somebody bring me a real doctor?โ€ And I didnโ€™t understand what was going on, because my whole body went numb,โ€ Gaga says of the terrifying experience. โ€œI fully dissociated. I was screaming, and then he calmed me down and gave me medication for when that happens.โ€

Lady Gaga for Elle Magazine
Photo by Sร˜LVE SUNDSBร˜ / Elle

Gaga also had some basic practical advice for those looking to stop harming themselves.

โ€œOne thing that I would suggest to people who struggle with trauma response or self-harm issues or suicidal ideation is actually ice,โ€ she said. โ€œIf you put your hands in a bowl of ice-cold water, it shocks the nervous system, and it brings you back to reality.โ€

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