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On his inspirational documentary series Our Queer Life, Matt Cullen strives to tell often untold stories from the LGBTQIA+ community and introduce his audience to individuals from all walks of life who have something we can learn about life. Matt has interviewed everyone from drag queens and celebrities to activists and sex workers to discover how their individual journeys are shaping to build a strong and resilient LGBTQ+ community. Matt’s mission is to speak to those who, without Our Queer Life, may not have the platform to share their story with the world.
Matt’s own story began in Northern California, where he grew up in a typical 90’s nuclear family with a mother, father, and older sister. He recalls being picked on by classmates for his love of musical theatre and dance, and for being too feminine. He came out as gay during his senior year in high school in a letter to his parents. “I left it on the kitchen table for them to read when they got up in the morning,” he says. “I was so nervous, I was shaking.” After reading it, his parents appeared in his bedroom doorway and Matt vividly remembers his father telling him, “I can’t wait to meet the man you fall in love with.” He is grateful to his parents for their love and acceptance, especially after meeting so many people through Our Queer Life who have not been so lucky.
Through his interviews and experiences – such as attending a gay rodeo and cruise, Matt is helping to destigmatize topics like sex work and amplify important issues such as the misrepresentation of trans men and women. He also shines the spotlight on those in the community who have lived in the shadows for too long: adult film stars, ballroom queens, gay Orthodox Jews and even one trans person whose addiction to illegal plastic surgery has left them disabled.
Matt’s belief is that viewers who identify with the people he spotlights in Our Queer Life may get a better understanding of them and perhaps, feel a bit of empathy for their plights. “In these divided times, it is more important than ever before that the LGBTQ+ community and its allies make an effort to find common ground with one another. We’re stronger together, so let us stand united.”
We had the chance to talk to Matt about the evolution of the series and some of the highlights of his 100+ episodes in our exclusive interview.
What was the origin of the series?
I mean, it happened very naturally and organically, never with a strong concept at the beginning. It was just a very organic way of happening, but it started right after COVID and I had spent, as all of us, so much time locked away in my apartment, not talking to anybody and just being so lonely and feeling like I was craving deep connection. I wanted to learn from other people, like you do, I’m sure, you get a high off of meeting other people and hearing their stories and I just was craving that sort of connection.
So, when vaccinations came around and we all got vaccinated and were able to leave our places, I just started thinking about what I could do that would allow me to have these deep conversations, but also to put my work out there into the world, which is something that I’m very passionate about as well.
I just thought of starting a series where I talk with people in my community to see what they’ve gone through in order to live in our authentic truth. I didn’t really know what the full scope of the show would be, or what kind of stories I would have, or what kind of stories I was looking to have, but first I got on I got on Facebook and went to an ex-Jehovah’s Witness Facebook group. I got into the group, and I found this guy named Rob who is an ex-Jehovah’s Witness that lives in Los Angeles. I messaged him out of the blue and just said hey, you know, I want to start this docuseries on my YouTube channel. I would love to meet up with you and interview you about your experience being an ex-Jehovah’s Witness, growing up gay, how that looked when you came out, and we had the conversation and just went so deep and so smoothly, and it just felt so right in my heart, like this is what I’m supposed to be doing. It felt so natural, and so that was really the start of it, and then just little by little it grew, and now it’s where it’s at today, which is just really exciting.
You do great interviews. Do you have a background in journalism or anything like that?
I actually moved to L. A. to act. I went to college in New York City for acting, and came here to act, and it’s hard, especially being gay. It’s hard being an actor because there’s not that many roles for people in our community, and a lot of times the roles go to straight guys, and, if there are gay roles, there’s so many gay actors who want to be actors.
I’d get five auditions a year, six auditions a year, and it started to feel like maybe this isn’t my purpose. Maybe this isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing. I can’t put all my eggs in a basket that I get four auditions a year at so, that was really where I started thinking I wanted to make my own material. So, me and my best friend would make scripted content. We have a series with Keke Palmer out on YouTube called “That’s the Gag”, and I would just write a bunch of stuff, and taught myself how to edit that way because we couldn’t afford an editor. So, I would teach myself how to edit. I started having editing in my toolbox of things and filming in my toolbox of things. It just was a very natural progression into creating the series because at that point, I knew how to edit, I knew how to shoot very basic elementary stuff, and I knew how to tell stories so it was really an organic way that it led into it, but no experience in journalism before this.
How do you determine what stories you want to share?
I think at the beginning it was like, take any story I could get because I needed a new video every week and you know, it was me finding every story because nobody knew who I was or knew what my show was. So, it was, you know, messaging people, finding people on Facebook groups, deep diving into Instagrams, DMing people on Instagram and just taking any story I could get, but I feel like I’m at an easier place where a lot of people know my show, and they want to be on the show, so a lot of people reach out to me, and I don’t know, I kind of just trust my gut if I feel captivated by a story, if I feel moved by somebody’s strength, or you know, their, the way they tell their story is so interesting, I Just take their story.
It doesn’t have to be a certain type of person. It doesn’t have to be a certain type of story. It could be happy. It could be sad. It could be motivational. It could be funny. It could be whatever it is, as long as I feel interested in it and genuinely captivated into them, then I’ll take the story for sure.
Okay, now have you ever been surprised by something that you’ve learned while you were doing the series or anything that someone surprised you?
I mean, I think I’m just always surprised just about by the strength of people in my community. You know, I grew up in a very liberal household with parents that accepted me and a comfortable household.
I was able to go to college and I feel very lucky and privileged in that sense. And when I meet people from my show that have had a much different upbringing, maybe they have no contact with their family or they’re living on the streets or they’re doing jobs that I never had experienced in my life.
But they still have a drive and a dream and a devotion to make the best life they can live. It inspires me. And I guess coming into the show, I didn’t realize how inspired and how moved I’d be by these people’s stories. I leave these stories and I always feel really inspired by the people that I talk to.
I know it’s like your children, but do you have a favorite episode that you’ve done so far?
I don’t have a favorite episode. I think that the person on my show that has moved me the most is her name is Mousie, and she is a street hustler that lived in Los Angeles and had spent most of her life in and out of jail. I think she’d been to like 16 of the 20 or whatever jails and prisons in California. That was really her life – getting into jail, coming out of jail, getting in trouble, going back into jail, her whole entire life. And she’s a tough girl, and she’s a trans girl living in Long Beach. She invited me over to her place and it was when my show was very, very small.
And she really just opened up to me and trusted me with her sensitive story and her story of strength and resilience. And it moved so many people. That’s really when my show started exploding was my episodes with Mousy because she’s really famous on the streets and people know of her in the street culture.
She passed probably about a year and a half ago, but you know, before she passed, she was sick in the hospital and she would message me and always tell me, you’re like my little brother to me. We’re going to create so much together. This is just the beginning of our creation together.
Although she’s not here in the physical sense, I really do feel her when I create my show or new opportunities come, or, you know, someone says, Oh, I saw your episode with Mousie. I rewatch this all the time. I’d love for you to interview me. I feel her with me everywhere I go. And when the show grows, I feel her. So, I think that she’s just someone that sticks with me forever.
I would be remiss if I didn’t ask because I am obsessed with Drag Race. You have interviewed quite a few of the queens, some of my absolute favorites, like Latrice Royale. What’s the most scalding tea you were able to get from the queens of Drag Race?
Oh my gosh, I don’t know. I mean, I just released an episode probably an hour ago with Spice and she talks about the drama with Michelle Visage and her telling her makeup artist that she doesn’t like Sugar and Spice and then the makeup artist told Selena EsTitties told Spice and Sugar like Michelle doesn’t like you so that was some tea.
Most of the tea they give me is off-camera, so I can’t tell anybody, but I love the Drag Race girls. I really do. I love interviewing them because they all have really interesting stories, and you know, they all come from such different backgrounds, and they’re all artists, and they’re fun, and funny, and full of passion, and just always a good time.
You’ve interviewed a lot of people. Is there somebody that you wanted to interview that you still haven’t been able to?
I don’t know. I think it’s hard because my show, of course, I always say I would love to interview Andy Cohen or Kim Petras or Anderson Cooper. I would love to have them on my show, but at the end of the day, I think also my show is known for me finding people that don’t have a platform yet and giving them that platform to share their story and to feel heard by so many people. I know I have a dream guest, but I haven’t met them yet, if that makes sense.
They’re out there somewhere and I’ll meet them but I love finding people that have lived interesting lives that nobody knows of yet and putting those people out there because I think that everyone’s story is so important and I love sharing people that don’t have a platform.
Is there a topic that you would like to cover that you haven’t covered yet?
No, not that I can think of. I guess what I’ve been enjoying lately is like going on experiences. I just went on a gay cruise and documented my experience there. It kind of pivoted my series a little bit to show like me going on this cruise, not having set interviews, but just kind of showing my experience there and showing who I can meet and interview.
I’ve been enjoying doing that. So, if more opportunities could present like that, where I go somewhere and just integrate myself in that community and film with the people there, that could be really cool. I mean, I don’t have any set storylines or set topics. It’s been over a hundred episodes, so I feel like I’ve really talked about almost everything, you know?
Do you think that doing this series has changed you, and if so, how?
I think the series has changed me so much and has made me the man that I am today. I mean, when I look back on my show, I think that the show was the greatest gift for me. I get so moved by people that message me on the daily or email me saying that they’re from small towns, the middle of America, and they have nobody in our community that they can relate to and watching my show makes them feel seen and heard.
That moves me so much – and they’re my motivation, but also I feel like I needed the show just as much as they needed the show because I think it’s really opened my mind and opened my eyes and made me look at everybody just so differently and just realizing that everybody is so much more alike than we think. We all can come from such different backgrounds. I come from a much different background than many people on my show, but I also can relate to them so much, and we all have the same wants and desires in this world. We all want to be happy, and we all want to be in love, and we all want a roof over our heads, and we want our health, and we want our family to love us for who we are. That has really changed who I am because it’s showed me that I can walk by anybody on the street or anybody anywhere and I can make a conversation with them and we can find connection and love for each other.
What do you want audiences take away from your series?
I think just empathy for everybody, I think is really what the goal is. My goal with my series is for people to find the humanity in other people. I do episodes that can be very clickable in terms of a lot of sex work episodes or a lot of drag queens or a lot of things that people would just like see and click because it’s just fascinating to watch.
But then I want you to watch it and you learn about people’s animals and about the pictures of their family on their walls and it really starts to paint them as a human being so that people that live in the middle of America that don’t have any trans people in their life, they can watch this and learn and realize that, especially in the community and the world right now with trans rights and stuff being so in question and, things looking like they’re winding back in time.
It’s so important to show people that maybe don’t have exposure to these stories that we are all human beings and we all deserve to have rights and to have the ability to love and safely transition or whatever you feel the need to do.
What else is going on with you? Do you have any other future plans?
There are things in the works for sure. The series has been such a blessing for me and also has opened so many doors, especially as it grows and as more people watch it. I feel so lucky for the opportunities I’m getting and I’m really excited for what’s next, but I can’t say anything yet.
New episodes of “Our Queer Life” are airing weekly on YouTube. You can follow Matt on Instagram.
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