Lady Gaga Talks Mental Health Struggles, Past Suicidal Thoughts, and Hating Being Famous

Miu von Furstenberg 5 Min Read
5 Min Read
Lady Gaga 91st Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals

In a sit-down with CBS Sunday Morning, Lady Gaga opened up about her mental health struggles and how Chromatica gave people an unfiltered look at her struggles with depression and her continued effort to love herself again.

The Grammy award-winning singer recently took a candid trip down memory lane with, Sunday Morning‘s Lee Cowan and admitted, “I mean, honestly, Lee, I just totally gave up on myself. I hated being famous. I hated being a star. I felt exhausted and used up.”

Gaga also admitted that her perception towards music, before Chromatica released, was rather muddled. “I don’t know how to explain it. But I went from looking at this piano, and thinking, you ruined my life.”

Lady Gaga 76th Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals
Lady Gaga attends the 76th Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 6, 2019 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Getty Images)

“During that time, I was like, You made me Lady Gaga. My biggest enemy is Lady Gaga. That’s what I was thinking: My biggest enemy is her.”

“You can’t go to the grocery store now. If you go to dinner with your family, somebody comes to the table, you can’t have dinner with your family without it being about you. It’s always about you. All the time it’s about you. And your outfits. Look at your outfits!”

Lady Gaga ELLE's 25th Annual Women In Hollywood Celebration Presented By L'Oreal Paris, Hearts On Fire And CALVIN KLEIN - Moët & Chando
Lady Gaga attends ELLE's 25th Annual Women In Hollywood Celebration presented by L'Oreal Paris, Hearts On Fire and CALVIN KLEIN at Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills on October 15, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Getty Images)

During the course of the interview, Gaga also admitted that she once attempted to heal her father’s trauma with music, “I was writing about his trauma from my father’s life that became my trauma in a lot of ways, and I thought I could fix my dad,” but “No. I could never fix that.”

“It’s not always easy, if you have mental issues, to let other people see. I used to show. I used to self-harm. I used to say, ‘Look. I cut myself. See, I’m hurt,’ ’cause I didn’t think anyone could see. ‘Cause mental health, it’s invisible.”

Lady Gaga Pepsi Zero Sugar Super Bowl LI Halftime Show
Lady Gaga during Super Bowl 51 at NRG Stadium on February 5, 2017 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Getty Images)

There came a time in her life where dark thoughts of suicide became a daily calling. “I didn’t really understand why I should live other than to be there for my family. That was an actual real thought and feeling: Why should I stick around?”

But despite how she felt or how hard it all came crashing down on her shoulders, Gaga knew she had to continue and create her own happiness once again. “Lee, I swear on my future unborn children! I don’t know why, but I have to. I have to do it. Singing, I have to. Turns out, even if I don’t wanna be alive, I still know how to write a song!”

Lady Gaga AT&T Super Saturday Night - Arrivals
Lady Gaga attends AT&T TV Super Saturday Night at Meridian at Island Gardens on February 01, 2020 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for AT&T)

Before concluding, Gaga announced, “I don’t hate Lady Gaga anymore. I found a way to love myself again, even when I thought that was never gonna happen. Now, I look at this piano and I go, Oh, my God. My piano! My piano that I love so much! My piano that lets me speak. My piano that lets me make poetry. My piano, that’s mine!”

Watch Lady Gaga's interview below.

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