Robert Pattinson Is Spending His Time in Quarantine Microwaving Pasta

Like the majority of us, Robert Pattinson seems to be getting extremely bored during quarantine.

While he was prepping to play Batman, he’s now spending his days microwaving pasta. In a new interview with GQ, Pattinson details how he’s surviving.

Pattinson and his girlfriend, Suki Waterhouse, are quarantined in London, and it seems that Rob does not know how to cook.

Pattinson: Yesterday I was just googling, I was going on YouTube to see how to microwave pasta. [laughs]

GQ: That’s not a thing.

Pattinson: Put it in a bowl and microwave it. That is how to microwave pasta. And also it really, really isn’t a thing. It’s really actually quite revolting. But I mean, who would have thought that it actually makes it taste disgusting?

GQ: How are you actually surviving?

Pattinson: I’m essentially on a meal plan for Batman. Thank God. I don’t know what I’d be doing other than that. But I mean, yeah, other than—I can survive. I’ll have oatmeal with, like, vanilla protein powder on it. And I will barely even mix it up. It’s extraordinarily easy. Like, I eat out of cans and stuff. I’ll literally put Tabasco inside a tuna can and just eat it out of the can.

GQ: You’ve been training all your life for this, apparently.

Pattinson: I… It is weird, but my preferences are…just sort of eat like a wild animal. [laughs] Like, out of a trash can.

It seems as if Pattinson has a history with pasta.

In the interview, Pattinson revealed that he had been wondering how to give pasta “the same kind of fast-food credentials as burgers and pizza.” Pattinson allegedly went so far as to brainstorm a type of handheld pasta, as well as a name for his venture: Piccolini Cuscino, which means “little pillow” in Italian.

Pattinson actually pitched his idea to Lele Massimini, the cofounder of sushi hot spot Sugarfish and proprietor of pasta bar Uovo.

“I told him my business plan and his facial expression didn’t even change afterwards,” Pattinson said of the meeting. “Let alone acknowledge what my plan was. There was absolutely no sign of anything from him, literally. And so it kind of put me off a little bit.”

Massimini confirmed the story to GQ, saying, “It’s 100% true, everything he told you.”

So what is the Pattinson-designed pasta sandwich? Well, he actually made it for GQ during his interview. He began by microwaving penne pasta, which he then dumped into foil, which he then smothered in layers of cheese and sugar. “It really needs a sugar crust,” Pattinson explained. He covered the whole thing with a layer of crushed cornflakes (he didn’t have breadcrumbs), then topped it with a hamburger bun, which had been burned with the initials “PC.”

“I’m really trying to sell this company,” Pattinson said. “I’m doing this for my brand.”

What the serious hell?